


An Old Friend

by MapleFeathers



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:20:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29703249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MapleFeathers/pseuds/MapleFeathers
Summary: Short story.





	An Old Friend

I can’t remember the first time they appeared, perhaps it was the time I walked in the rain after a bad day at school, perhaps it was the day I sat on the ledge of the window of my room.

But ever since I noticed them, they kept reappearing in my life.

Eventually, they became an old friend of mine.

I didn’t particularly like them, they were always just there, and I can’t get rid of them.

So I learnt to live with them, and frankly, they’re not too much of a bother most of the time.

Except for times when they proposed to bring me away.

They always bring it up when I’m at my lowest, when things were at it’s worst.

They would tell me stories of this magical place, where every pain I’ve felt would go away, where everything would immediately resolve itself.

It was tempting, I have to admit.

But I knew they were lying, that a place like that most likely doesn’t exist.

I told them I can’t go away just yet, and that is the truth.

My dogs, my cats, my partner, my mother, my friends.

I point to them, each and every one of them, every time they whisper in my ear about this place.

“I can’t go away just yet, they would be devastated if I left just like that.”

It works every time, they would go away, and I learnt to use it to my advantage.

As time passed, as I got out of school, they stopped appearing.

Without a goodbye, or even a notice, they just left.

In the past, they have left from time to time, and would always pop back into my life after some time, but this time, it felt different.

Something tells me they might not come back this time.

The sun felt brighter, the colours looked more vibrant, the music sounds more pleasant.

It’s been more than 2 years since I last met them, even though I don’t miss them, but I would always remember them.

I still see shadows of you behind others, they might not be you, but they look a lot like you.

An old friend of mine, who had been with me at my lowest points in life, I will remember you.

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Suicidal Thoughts  
> *I chose not to put this at the start of the story because I want it to be up for interpretation.
> 
> If it wasn't obvious enough, yes my old friend's name is depression and suicidal thoughts.
> 
> I suffered a lot of trauma in my childhood, witnessing my father's years of emotional and physical abuse on my mom, seeing my grandfather almost killing my mom right in front of my eyes, migrating to a completely new country while not knowing the language, growing up with a bi-polar mom who was always too busy with work and barely ever there.
> 
> To add to all that, I went into the extremely emotionally taxing art schools, where I've had countless emotional breakdowns and panic attacks, where I've burst into tears so many times I lost count.
> 
> Right after graduating from the last art school I was in, I felt a shift in my mental state.
> 
> I felt ok.
> 
> My suicidal thoughts went away, it was almost as if they were never there, now the thought of suicide feels absurb.
> 
> I always saw depression and suicidal thoughts as an old friend of mine, I don't like them, but they're there, and they want to bring me away.
> 
> And my eventual healing and liberation from them, was just as sudden as when they came into my life.


End file.
